Vending Banter

So yesterdays post wasn’t quite as popular as the day before. Fine, I will try and write off the top of my head and see what I come up with again. Nah, not really. I wasn’t planning to do a blog today as I’m in work, but it’s a fairly quiet morning so I thought I would spend a few minutes writing.

My first question is, why are vending machines so rubbish? I mean why, they’re basic machinery. They should be able to fulfil their task with relative ease. So why is it whenever I want something, they just refuse to vend? Do they hate me? I come in to work this morning, admittedly very tired and so I thought I would get myself a pick up. The first machine gets my crisps stuck before they even come off the ring. So I’m left lifting the front of the machine in order to encourage them to fall. I’m fully aware that this could kill me, but those crisps or so tantalisingly close! What a way to go…The second machine then decides, ‘oh, I’m going to make a load of noise and pretend to dispense this guy’s Pepsi. But then I’ll just go back to slip and enjoy his lovely shiny £1 coin’. Bastard, that coin was mine! So what do I do? Oh yes, I feed it another pound because, damn it, I really need that Pepsi! Amateur mistake I hear you say. I know, that’s what I was thinking too. But low and behold, it worked! I got not only one Pepsi, but when that fell out it came with the one I originally paid for. Excellent, now I have a spare for lunch. Okay, vending machines aren’t that bad, but why don’t they work properly…

My second point is just a little mention of Jerry Nelson, the puppeteer famous for The Count and Gobo Fraggle. Now I love the Count, and if you find me drunk at a party you will often find me saying ‘ah, ah, ah’ when someone mentions a number. So I’d just like to say this is yet more sad news for the entertainment community and count in peace sir, we will miss you.

Speaking of drunk, I was at a gig last night. Why do I feel so out of place at gigs when I’m not playing? I don’t think I know what to do with myself unless I’m running around trying to sort out equipment. So I just stand there looking awkward sipping my drink with increasing frequency. I also have the post-drink guilts today. Mainly because I’m a bit of a lightweight, and when I have a drink I come out of my shelf a bit. They day afterwards I always think ‘did I really say that? That was a bit rude, I hope they didn’t mind’ and so on. I don’t try and be a rude person, and alcohol doesn’t turn me in to one of those people. I just join in the banter more, but I often wonder if that’s how banter works or if I’ve somehow missed the point and just offend people instead.

Yesterday going through my notepad I discovered a kind of children’s story I had started writing. The thought actually made me smile. It came from an idea I had when I was sat on a train and said to myself ‘I want to live inside a book…’ From that I thought, well what would happen if someone got stuck in a story and what would happen to them? It’s probably been done before, but I thought that line of thought lend itself to a children’s story and the kind of odd characters you could come across from page to page. Maybe one day I will actually write it. It has a starting point but that’s about it.

Games Workshop today have released the advance orders for their new 40k boxed set, which I have to say looks amazing. I’ve always been a fan of the Dark Angels, they were the first army I ever collected and I love the look of them. The background story is also something that drew my to them. It’s so, for want of a better word, dark. Despite what they are based on (look up the poem Dark Angel by Lionel Johnson if you have never read it, you’re in for a shock!) But interestingly in all my scribblings I have never once written a story even containing a Dark Angels character. Maybe it’s because I don’t think I could do them justice. I don’t know. But their story is so dark and shrouded in mystery that I would have to be absolutely sure I had the right story for them. I’m sure at some point I will write a Dark Angels character. One day.

I will try and have a finished story up for you guys to read soon. I’m sure you’re pretty sick of my musings. But once again thanks for reading. I appreciate any comments or if you want to chat about anything I’ve talked about feel free to say hi! Cheers.

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